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# Posted 10:45 PM by Ariel David Adesnik

THE GRINCH WHO STOLE MIDDLE EARTH: The Return of the King did not suck. Its climactic battle scene was even more stunning than the siege of Helms Deep in The Two Towers. But all in all, it was just more and more and more of the same.

What I probably resented most about the film was how much it was hyped. This film was supposed to be the Empire Strikes Back of the Ring trilogy, the installment whose narrative depth matched its techincal achievements.

Instead, we got another Return of the Jedi. The loyal audience is there, so why bother being creative? This was a miniseries, not a cinematic epic. At some point in the third hour, the audience at Loews' 34th St. Theater realized that it could dispense with all the pseudo-profundity and simply cheer after each improbably brave deed performed by one of the lovable heroes. Instead of medieval saga, this was a 1950's matinee version of WWII.

There were strong points, however. As the NYT pointed out, Gollum is brilliant. He is a landmark in the synthesis of acting and technology. What the NYT didn't say is that Gollum is literally the only character in the whole film who isn't two-dimensional.

(Note to Chafetz: That was joke. Gollum is literally one of many characters in the film who is two-dimensional and figuratively the only one who is three-dimensional.)

So there. Send me your hate mail. Tell me I've ruined your Christmas. Call me a film snob. Just don't make me sit through that movie again.

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