# Posted 9:37 AM by Patrick Belton
HAPPY IDES OF MARCH! The Roman calendar - as well as the Julian calendar, and the idea also persisted to greater or lesser extents through the Renaissance - revolved around three days in each month- the Kalends (1st day of the month), the Nones (the 7th day in March, May, July, and October; the 5th in the other months), and, of course, the infamous Ides (the 15th day in March, May, July, and October; the 13th in the other months). The remaining days of the month were designated by backwards counting from the closest Kalends, Nones, or Ides - so yesterday was Pridie (or II) Ides, Saturday was III Ides, Friday was IV Ides, and so forth until Nones, March 7th. So happy Ides - and now you have all sorts of other Roman calendrical days you can celebrate throughout the year, too.
More importantly though, for present purposes, this sets up a bad joke.
It's a little known fact that Julius Caesar did not die from stab wounds by Brutus, but, rather, was poisoned. During a sumptuous banquet which they both attended on that fateful Ides of March, Brutus slipped some poisonous hemlock leaves onto Julius' salad. (Thus making the world's first Caesar's salad - no, that's not the joke, wait for it....)
When Julius slumped over into his salad, Brutus feigned concern and asked, "My dear friend Julius, how many hemlock leaves have you eaten?" To which Julius gasped in reply: "Ate two, Brute."
There are more here
, but they aren't as funny.
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