Friday, April 14, 2006
# Posted 9:21 PM by Ariel David Adesnik
In happier news, it is Passover, the celebration of my people's liberation from Egypt many thousands of years ago. It was actually quite a messy affair. Had Amnesty International been around at the time, it most certainly would have condemned God's "shock and awe" campaign against the Egyptians. Personally, I suspect that Plague No. 6 -- boils -- represented a form of biological warfare.
But things only got worse from there. Soon after their liberation, the Jews began to complain that God's intervention had actually made their lives worse. Then they began to long for the good old days of the Egyptian dictatorship. And who can really blame them? In spite of his moral clarity and good intentions, God's apparent lack of planning resulted in a 40-year long quagmire in the desert.
(Anti-semitic joke: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years? Answer: one of them dropped a quarter.)
Anyhow, if you're interested in something much funnier than this post, I highly recommend the flash-animated version of 50 Cent rapping the ten plagues. It's an instant classic. Chag sameach motherf*****s!!! (6) opinions -- Add your opinion
Thanks. Hope you saw the Two-Minute Haggadah. I mean, it's not that funny, but it's amusing enough to spend 30 seconds on. :-) (I blogged it here, but didn't add anything worth checking out.)
If you liked that, you'll love this.
More hip-hop, but this time JibJab at its finest.
"Had Amnesty International been around at the time, it most certainly would have condemned God's "shock and awe" campaign against the Egyptians."
And this would be totally unfair, because, hey, you gotta kill some firstborns to make an omelette
(Umm, the last comment gave way to some unintended but very unpleasant connotations. Sorry about that. The point was: G-d really way prone to human rights abuses, so there would be nothing remarkable about AI protesting. Also, he used WMD. Invade Heaven now! Should be a cakewalk)
Or, a less anti-semitic version - why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years? Because Moses, being a man, didn't want to ask for directions!Post a Comment